Humorous Quotes
Simple Inspirational Quotes
Inspirations for Business and Life
Humorous Quotes
"You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You can't find something? Scream, "Mom, I need help!"" ~ unknown
"I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, 4% Friday." ~ unknown
"Once upon a time I had a life, now I have an Internet connection." ~ unknown
"I saw my Ex updated her Facebook status to "standing on the edge of a cliff." So, I poked her." ~ unknown
"Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood". ~ Mary Hirsch
"Humor has bailed me out of more tight situations than I can think of. If you go with your instincts and keep your humor, creativity follows. With luck, success comes, too." ~ Jimmy Buffett
"Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream." ~ W.C. Fields, Comedian
"Due to lack of interest, tomorrow has been canceled." ~ Irene Kampen
"The more I get to know people, the more I like my dog." ~ Mark Twain
"It isn't what they say about you, it's what they whisper.” – Errol Flynn
"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you've been up to." ~ Becky Fowler Blackmon
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all the evidence that you ever tried." ~ Steven Wright
"When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder. "~ James H. Boren
"THINK...It may be a new experience." ~ unknown
"The secret to a good marriage? Multi-touch." ~ Steve Jobs
"If it is good for Derek, it is good for everyone." ~ Derek
"If SEX did not exist, then a marketing executive would have had to invent it." ~ unknown
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"Business is like SEX. When it's good, it's very, very good; when it's not so good, it's still good." ~ George Katona
"A reputable lawyer will advise you to keep out of the law, make the best of a foolish bargain, and not get caught again." ~ Mark Twain
"I'm normal, it's everyone else that's weird." ~ unknown
"Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?" ~ Kurt Cobain
"I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it." ~ Jack Handey
"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else." ~ Will Rogers
"I called my mother to wish her Happy Birthday and she said, "Why didn't you put it on Facebook, son?" And I said, "Goodbye, mother!"" ~ unknown